This begins a very short 3-part series on the things we don’t talk about. 😀
Have you noticed that there are certain topics we don’t talk about? Is it because they are taboo?
A simplified version of the Wikipedia definition (de Bry and Staden) is: A taboo is something that a social group considers unacceptable to say or do. People avoid it because they believe it is offensive, disrespectful, sacred, or only appropriate for certain individuals. Stated very simply, it is forbidden.
Originally, taboos focused on forbidden foods (read the tale of Persephone and her eating of pomegranate seeds) or actions (Sigmund Freud identified incest and patricide as universal taboos). According to https://helpfulprofessor.com/taboo-examples-cultural-religious-food/ there are three types of taboos: cultural, religious, and food. Let’s look at the definition: “A cultural taboo is something that is considered inappropriate to do or discuss within a specific cultural … group. (Drew)
I would say that today’s social taboos are something we don’t bring up in polite conversation, because they are likely to cause arguments or embarrassment. They are different from elephants in the room in that some people may not see them as big issues (unlike an elephant in the room that everyone can see but no one dares mention), but we try to stay away from them as a way of promoting social harmony.
Just mentioning a taboo can cause strong feelings – whether it is the issue itself or the social attitudes toward that topic. And insisting that a taboo be expressed can often lead to divisive arguments where some feel their safety threatened. Here are some examples of American taboos:
- Politics: Talking about Politics at the Dinner Table (# 3 on the list of American taboos). So I’ve learned not to talk about politics and especially not over a meal!
- Sex: Talking about Sex (# 25 on the list of American taboos). So I don’t talk about this subject either.
So as you read this post, be aware that I know that even discussing taboos may be viewed as breaking a taboo. But does the fact that discussing a topic makes one feel uncomfortable mean that the topic should always be avoided?
I think we have two other topics that we could explore in our conversation of taboos. I know it’s risky, and we may be uncomfortable together, and yet, I think it is worth a few minutes to explore together.
Join me tomorrow as I continue our mini-series on things we don’t talk about.
Eunice’s notes:
An Elephant in the room (“Elephant in the room”) is an expression that refers to an obvious and important issue that people avoid talking about because it is uncomfortable or controversial.
References
de Bry, T., & Staden, H. (n.d.). Taboo. Wikipedia. Retrieved July 26, 2026, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taboo
Drew, C. (2023, February 17). 65 Examples of Taboos (Cultural, Religious & Food). Helpful Professor. Retrieved July 26, 2026, from https://helpfulprofessor.com/taboo-examples-cultural-religious-food/
Drew, C. (2023, July 16). 27 Taboos in American Culture (List). Helpful Professor. Retrieved July 26, 2026, from https://helpfulprofessor.com/american-taboos-list/
Elephant in the room. (n.d.). Wikipedia. Retrieved July 26, 2026, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_in_the_room